the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize