I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
