I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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