the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
