i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
