my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Duck Duck Cougar?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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