lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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