I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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