he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
