I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
