I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
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My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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