i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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