I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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