you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This is the high leading the old right now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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