No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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