perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.