yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.