my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.