so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome