She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize