morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
