You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
