your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
