Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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