let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
