Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
