smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
