so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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