I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
