on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
