I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
