Your tits are I can't wait for
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
