It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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