she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
