I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
