I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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