Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
