i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
