I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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