If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
