I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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