the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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