I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize