just come out here and I will go home with you...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
