My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
