Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
