I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
