I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
