How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
