I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
did i walk over a car last night?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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