he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
