So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
