You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
