It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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