life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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