Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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