Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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