We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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