Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
