I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
