Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
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You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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