I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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