Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
