In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
