Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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