his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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